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Shrimpology

Certified documentation for a science nobody asked for.

What This Is

Shrimpology is the ongoing effort of the Institute of Crustacean Ingestion Standards to identify, name, and formally file every conceivable method of eating a shrimp — from the mundane to the geometrically improbable.

Each method is presented in the sterile, instructional-diagram style the Institute considers appropriate for a subject of this magnitude. Tap any method to watch it performed.

Methodology

Methods are classified by biomechanical soundness and spiritual alignment, two axes the Institute continues to insist are both real and independently measurable.

No live shrimp are used in any simulation. The Institute considers this a strength of the program, not a limitation of it.

The Ledger

The Total Shrimp Simulated counter lives on your device alone. It does not sync, does not reset, and does not care what anyone else has simulated. It only ever climbs.

The Real Experience

Once every filed method has been witnessed, the Institute suspends its own procedure and recommends, once, that you go eat an actual shrimp. No simulation offered on this site has ever claimed to be a substitute.

Legal

Shrimpology is provided for entertainment purposes only. No shrimp, real or hypothetical, were harmed, consulted, or consumed in its production.